No Accident

The days are dragging on
Can’t wait to leave all these black swans
Wanting to get away from these arrogant teens
They expect me to be like Barbie figurines
Bullying seems to be something I can never leave
I will never wear my fears on my sleeve
But it comes to a point where I cry myself to sleep
On those nights, I just count the sheep
It’s all my failures that they feed upon
Going home to ‘Daddy’ who is an ex-con
Tends to stir all the memories I had to sweep
I suppress them by the touch of a button; beep!

I was only eight, and it was New Year’s Eve
Seeing what I saw, I just couldn’t believe
He said he wanted to party, but I couldn’t make a peep
I was told to put on a big girl face and not weep
It must be fate because this is no accident

Drunken ‘Daddy’ comes home, time to be stepped on
He swipes the scissors and thinks he’s at a beauty salon
Dodging him, I try to make a leap
He catches me, and I am in knee deep

He only cuts my bangs then leaves
Momma came home and began to heave
I knew it was bad when I heard words that should be blocked with a bleep
Her tears begin to seep

Momma deserves a bronze
I will cheer her on with my batons
This battle is steep
But he continues to creep

Once upon a midsummer eve
Momma was home on sick leave
It’s the bruises and scars that ‘Daddy’ gave her that she will keep
She tells me to gather my things and jump in the jeep
It must be fate because this is no accident

Time for us to get gone
She already burst into tears before we even made it to the lawn
Since it was going to be just us, we had to be cheap
Everything we owned was in a heap
No time to grieve
Momma found a new love and conceives
Finally it’s easier to fall asleep
I have now lost my sheep; I am little Bopeep

As I grew, I learned who my new ‘Daddy’ was before dawn
At last, all of his evil has been shown inside his demons
Momma doesn’t believe me when I tell her who her new lover truly is behind the screen
There is no way she could have foreseen

Every time I try to tell her, she disbelieves
Hope seems to be something I will never receive
I now no longer want to be at the place where I am supposed to sleep
It must be fate because this is no accident

By Caitlyn D. (2012)