My Momma

They say mamma knows best.
I’m sorry this is a lie, and your
Making it up, because she wasn’t ever there when
He screwed my life up.

North, East, West and South,
I look all around but you were never there.
Can you tell me once, please, please,
When did you ever care?

You say “Sorry baby, I’ve been busy.”
Busy with what?
I’m your own daughter!
To you though I guess I’m a bother.

No, wait sorry, I forgot.
Forgot the lifestyle in which you were caught.
Drinking, Drinking, Drinking.
Party, Party, Party.
When did I last see you?
Man, I don’t even know.
And now I’m screaming and cursing your name out the window.

My own mirror is a constant reminder
Of how everyone says,
I look exactly like her.

But don’t you understand?!
The appearance is only physical.
So sue me.
Or label me as cynical.
Because
I
AM
NOTHING
LIKE
HER.

FML. That’s what you put on your site.
Should’ve put FYL because that’s what you’re doing to my life.

When I’m at your funeral because you are dead,
What am I supposed to say to the kind of life that you lead?
Because when you smoke one here,
Smoke one there,
Don’t you know I’ll have to live with this fear?

Remind me, when is the last time
You gave me advice,
Instead of these lies,
That I heard through my ears,
Discoveries later that brought out the tears.

Is it to your enjoyment,
That your only employment,
Is wasting away?
And through the pain of yesterday,
Your choice wasn’t to stay.

Ma, you’re like a jack in the box,
Just full of surprises.
But guess what?
I’m done with these disguises.
Why don’t you just come out in say it?
Let’s go, don’t deny it.

Everyone knows the truth,
Apparently, everyone except for you.

Your life is a lie,
And at night I
Lie
In bed all alone, knowing
You’ll never pick up the phone.
You’re breaking my heart.
My tears are breaking my face,
I’m drowning in sorrow,
Losing my faith.

I look at my reflection,
I’m seeing a change in
Direction.
Even if I don’t remember a time when you and I were
“We”,
I still believe somewhere down inside,
You still love me.

Nothing happens overnight,
But slowly I’m mending,
Preparing for first flight.
And so this is it,
My lantern is lit.
I’m walking away,
Choosing today.
Why did I never open my eyes?
Why I didn’t realize,
That I have a choice.
I’ve always had a choice.
And now that I’ve found my voice
I’m deciding to speak. And a thing called fate is a
Hopeless game of Hide and Go Seek.
Because I’m like Houdini,
You won’t ever see me.
Why?
Because I’ve
CHOSEN
My OWN path.
So now,
This is the end,
But never goodbye.
I can finally see,

The CHOICE has always
Been with me.

By Aspen B. (2012)